This month has been something of a whirlwind. I could go into a long, overly detailed explanation...so I will.
I spent the first part of the month traveling to Warsaw, Berlin and Norway (you can read more about this in my previous post.
Two days after I returned from Berlin (on a Wednesday), I was in Krakow with a few other of my darling Fulbright family visiting Auschwitz. The general consensus seemed to be that we all knew it was a place that needed to be visited and none of us wanted to visit it alone. So we bundled in our coats against a wet November chill and rode in the comfort of a minibus to the site synonymous with unimaginable atrocity.
To be quite candid, I'm not sure how I felt. I expected to feel more than I did. There was something simultaneous sickening and numbing about the entire experience. The two emotions were unsettlingly able to exist inside me for a few hours without dulling the other. There were some rooms which evoked remarkable disgust (such as a room full of human hair, a separate one filled with artificial limbs stolen from murdered inmates, and countless others). The impact was jarring. It was like looking at the lives of people you don't know in individual pieces, as if the material objects that represent their existence were organized and compartmentalized behind glass.
The absurdity of the Holocaust, the lack of logic behind it, was evident. This is where the numbing came in. It was like looking at a surgery on screen. There was something quite real about it but also a comfortable barrier of historical distance that allows it to exist simultaneously as something existing in the same state of reality in which history dwells.
This post will be shorter. It's almost like the monument to Loss mentioned in Memoirs of a Geisha. An artist builds a monument to loss with one word on it. However, the word is scratched off because when one experiences loss, it cannot be read, only felt. There's not much I can do to explain the complexities that I'm still feeling from this particular visit.
Words are painfully inadequate.
This month has been something of a whirlwind. I could go into a long, overly detailed explanation...so I will.
I spent the first part of the month traveling to Warsaw, Berlin and Norway (you can read more about this in my previous post.
Two days after I returned from Berlin (on a Wednesday), I was in Krakow with a few other of my darling Fulbright family visiting Auschwitz. The general consensus seemed to be that we all knew it was a place that needed to be visited and none of us wanted to visit it alone. So we bundled in our coats against a wet November chill and rode in the comfort of a minibus to the site synonymous with unimaginable atrocity.
To be quite candid, I'm not sure how I felt. I expected to feel more than I did. There was something simultaneous sickening and numbing about the entire experience. The two emotions were unsettlingly able to exist inside me for a few hours without dulling the other. There were some rooms which evoked remarkable disgust (such as a room full of human hair, a separate one filled with artificial limbs stolen from murdered inmates, and countless others). The impact was jarring. It was like looking at the lives of people you don't know in individual pieces, as if the material objects that represent their existence were organized and compartmentalized behind glass.
The absurdity of the Holocaust, the lack of logic behind it, was evident. This is where the numbing came in. It was like looking at a surgery on screen. There was something quite real about it but also a comfortable barrier of historical distance that allows it to exist simultaneously as something existing in the same state of reality in which history dwells.
This post will be shorter. It's almost like the monument to Loss mentioned in Memoirs of a Geisha. An artist builds a monument to loss with one word on it. However, the word is scratched off because when one experiences loss, it cannot be read, only felt. There's not much I can do to explain the complexities that I'm still feeling from this particular visit.
Words are painfully inadequate.
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